When the going gets tough, I just want to curl up with a book and let it all wash over me. It’s getting to that tough time of the year now. Work is not letting up, and I am feeling less and less motivated to do it. Apparently it’s a normal Final Year thing, a mixture of mountainous levels of work, and the fact that we’re all looking to the future now, and the one thing standing between us and the Big Wide World is this degree that we all feel we’ve been doing far too long! I’m not wanting to wish away the next few months. I know I’ll look back and think they were amazing, but right now, the prospect of more essays and exams before I can finally sit and watch TV without the guilt of ‘I should be reading Kierkegaard’ or ‘I should be researching what Flaubert said about politics’ is not appealing. Needless to say, right now, the Easter holidays can’t come quick enough.
But that’s not all. Coupled with this is the paradoxical problem that I actually don’t WANT to grow up. Filling out job applications and bigging myself up in Cover Letters is overrated. I just want to muddle along like I always have, decisions, responsibility and a real jobs are things that other people do. Until now. When did it all get so complicated? I swear I have blinked and missed the whole of this Final Year, it has gone like a shot. I guess putting off the whole transition into the adult world won’t help in the long run, but if I could just get a week to be like a child again, to do what I want, when I want and not have the bother of thinking, ‘Oh I should be doing this or that’, that would be great. I know it’s not going to happen, not for a long time, but a girl can dream.
Quite frankly, I don’t know what I should be doing. I know I’ve got loads of work to do, and that’s a priority, but I also want to enjoy these final months of studenthood. Enjoy being able to get up at 10am on a weekday and chill out in my PJs until I decide that it’s a reasonable time to go to uni and actually do some work. But then again, I should be putting the effort in, getting the most of the opportunities that lie ahead and putting myself out into the world to be counted.
Do you see my problem? I just don’t know what to do. Anyone with any answers, send them on the back of a postcard to :
SBT, Doesn’t want to grow up House, Should probably be doing some work Street, Southampton.
All ideas welcome.
